In the cinematic classic School of Rock, Jack Black’s character first addresses his adorable class of precocious ‘tweens by informing them that he’s hungover.
“Who knows what that means?” he asks.
“Doesn’t that mean you’re drunk?” one student offers.
“No,” Black corrects, “it means I was drunk yesterday.”
I was drunk yesterday. OK, Tuesday, but I was too busy being hungover yesterday to type coherent sentences. I blame my boyfriend’s boss, who inexplicably had the supremely un-genius idea to schedule the office holiday party on a weeknight. A weeknight, mind you, on which I had to work until 10 pm, thus missing dinner and arriving only in time for after-meal cocktails. And naturally, said boss was so delighted to see me that he insisted I have not one, but two very large Rye Manhattans while he filled me in on all the hilarity that took place in my absence.
In case you’re more of a math person than a “words” person, here’s the rising and falling action in easy equation style:
Working late + no dinner + free whiskey = 3 am + imitation chicken nuggets and spinach ravioli + Apollo 13 on AMC.
Oh, and a MASSIVE FUCKING HEADACHE the next day. Which, in case you forgot, is a work day. Yay!