There are a lot of things that get me fucking annoyed. Running out of tequila, sexual harassment, Sarah Palin, the list goes on. But right up there is this whole fucked up idea of gender-stereotyped toys. Over in America’s Air-Force Base in the North Atlantic, we have a catalogue store called Argos, and it’s a perpetual source of raised blood pressure (not too bad in itself as mine when last measured two weeks ago was a measly 111/67) to see the boys’ toys versus the girls’ toys.
Today’s fleck-spittled moment comes from a TV show with “Toy Wars” – boys v girls. Sure enough the boys have cool gadgets, science toys and action kit. What do you think the girls have? Fucking Bratz dolls and a dog with a pink collar whose full repertoire of movement is to take a piss.
Case in point. Boys are cool and do fun exciting things, therefore dinosaurs are fucking great and appropriate for all members of that gender. Girls on the other hand are stupid and wimpy and only interested in pink fluffy fucking bunny rabbits.
And don’t even get me started on the absolutely despicable pink microscope peddled by that haven of hateful imprinting, Toys R Us. Are girls utterly incapable of doing science unless they have pink shit to do it with? Man, maybe that’s why I’m such a shit scientist – because I don’t have a pink rock-hammer or air-scribe.
I need another drink.