Fuck You Dolphin-Fucking Dipshits and Other Fables

Hey guys! I have a great idea! Lets give some money to people who fuck dolphins!!! Yeah!!! Dolphin fckers!!! Fucking dolphins!!w000ttttt!!!!! wtf!???? I got a message for all the dolphin fuckers out there tonight on the grandstands.

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You are the epitome of a piece of shit. You are so fucking gone from society that you couldn’t tell yor dick from a doorknob.

G E T     A     F U C K I N G      LI FE!!!! Stick you Chi up your scrotum and call it hot fudge sundae becaue u are a fucking worhless sack of diseased potatoes. Yeah that s right. A diseased sack of potatoes. Fucking mosquitoes won’t even touch that shit.

fucking rats woul look away.the destruction of your pitiful existence would be like a fucking Robsinson Jeffers poem on hashish. it would be that fucking good!

Case in point: Divine fuckmeuptheasswhilescammingallyourmoney Joy: awakening the stupidity to the absolute. Go there. Look at it. Just look at it. LOOK AT IT DAMMIT! ITS TEH FUKKDUP!

1) If only i had as many fists as shiva to punch those douchey mcdouchealot i’m in my happy place smiles of their shit-ridden faces.

2) 13 code self-ecstasy dolphin training!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WOAH!! BACK THAT ASS UP! No, i mean it you’re going to want to back that ass up because dolphins WILL FUKING RAPE YOU AND KILL YER BABEEZ!!! And lets be honest here… “self-ecstasy”?? You want to have goddamn circle jerk with your furless furry underwater friend.

3) “We are in the throes of a massive shift in human consciousness around Planet Gaia.” WE. Live. On. Planet. Fucking. Earth. And the massive shift your going to feel is your lungs collapsing when those, friendly, always smiling, oh so OMG intelligent little epitomes of nature DROWN YOU WHILE FUCKING YOUR NECKHOLE. Not kidding either.

4) This is the real kicker!!!

“Scientists are now discovering at the sub-atomic level, what the mystics, yogis, Tibetan rinpoches, saints, gurus, and sages have been saying for millienia, everything & everyone that we see, hear, feel, touch, taste, or sense is based on a hologram (holographic illusion of reality).

Quite simply, a hologram equates to a graph or signature pattern that is hollow or whole.  In this graph nothing is real or permanent because the holograms are projections that come from our limited mental field of perception. What is projected out of this field is a temporary series of holographic pictures that is specifically determined from our unique system of mental belief patterns, personal identity(ego) filters, & emotional attachments to what is real or not real according to each individual’s authentic feeling nature.  No two human feeling beings are alike or the same, for Pure Source Consciousness which includes everything in and of itself, is the only consistent energy that is eternally powerful, unconditionally loving, and infinitely abundant.

Living Holographically is like, both, watching your own movie as Pure Source Consciousness whilst also playing out your unique role in the movie you are creating.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!11!!!!

OK, its clear you on fucking acid. Even the best trips I ever had weren’t that fucked up, not that I remember them anyways, but I guarantee it. “Scientists are now discovering at the sub-atomic level, what the mystics, yogis, Tibetan rinpoches, saints, gurus, and sages have been saying for millienia” WOW. once again, scientists confirm PURE UNADULTERATED BULLSHIT as TEH 1 TROOF!!

Searching for meaning in your life? Feeling lost on the vast eternal highway? Confused? Got loads of money? Well then have I got some loadocrap to sell you! Now, I know what you might say. “Heyy Bourbon, you know, people can do whatever the fuck they like bourbon. Why do you care how they spend their money? Why do care Bourbon how they live their meaniingless, pathetic lives? Bourbon, my main man, you are fucking full of bullshit too, what the diff daddy-o?”

The Diff, young padowan, is that I don’t give a shit how they live their lives, how they waste their money, how they fry their brain, or how they organize mass orgies with cetaceans.

I care about their dangerous goddamn ideas.

I care about how their ideas propogate in society.

I care about how they claim scientists are proving their horrific ideology.

I care about how they might infect minds of the emotionally weak and prey upon the most vulnerable.

Dolphin Fucking and Worship is no different in this sense then any other religion or messed up ideology, its just wackier in magnitude. If you think your “DNA memory fields” can be “rescripted with daily wild dolphin pod swims”, maybe you deserve the not-so-little red rocket up your swim trousers. Who am i to judge right?!? But the propagation of these ideas are fucking dangerous. I’ve watched friends sink into the cult mentality of these types Celestine Prophecy rip-off camps. Thats what this shit is, James Redfield wrote a fictional book about a man on a journey who find enlightenment and yadda yadda yadda along the way. Well lots of wacked out trickstahs took it a little too seriously and started making camps in South America to recreate some of this crap. I’ve seen people sink into this and never come back. Its fucking scary to lose someone you know to a cult. And that’s what this type of shit is, its a dangerous cult, not a club, not a get-together, not clique, a goddamn money-grabbing cult on par with scientology, the koolaid drinkers, the comet watchers, and all the pity-seeking religions out there. Its fucked up beyond belief.

So make fun of it, brush it aside. If there is anything you should have learned from reading Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land (amazing book, read it if you haven’t), its that religions, or cult systems, are the easiest thing in the world to create and duping people into being believers is as simple as 1.2.3.

This entry was posted in Stop Being Idiots For Just 5 Minutes, The Stupid It Burns, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Fuck You Dolphin-Fucking Dipshits and Other Fables

  1. GingerSpicedRum says:

    After I stopped crying from laughing so hard, I wanted to cry because these people really do exist. Cults are a fucked up thing. I’ve actually done some (and continue to do) some work on looking at the types of people who are more likely to be taken in by cults or other corrupt-types of organizations. Scary shit.

    • I’ve had good friends taken in by cults, never to be heard from again. They were all trying to seek some kind of enlightenment or purpose, most were coming off drugs and had fucked up family histories and just wanted a place to belong.

      • GingerSpicedRum says:

        That’s often the case. In fact—cults seek out people in those circumstances because they are more likely to be taken in by them. When you feel hopeless, depressed, lonely… those are the times when you turn to anything that will give you a sense of control over your life, give you answers.

        The cults give you the answers you want to hear (even though it’s totally fucked up), and you’ll believe it, just to settle the dissonance. It’s the same reason why people are more likely to turn to religion and other mystical beliefs when they are grieving—it gives them some kind of closure and justification for things that are either out of their control or completely unknown.

        For example, a loved one dies suddenly, they are distraught, so they believe God had a purpose for taking them at that time, and then they feel more settled and accepting of the situation because there’s an “answer”.

        People in general don’t like not having answers to unknowns, which is why they fall for stupid shit like mysticism and religion—when they should really embrace science. 😉

  2. Paul says:

    It’s nice to see all you science types so busy on this level, while your Chinese counterparts are making regular trains go 300 miles an hour. Go USA. Leave the dolphin people alone and try to be more like Felisa, who discovered the arsenic thing. I’m glad I stuck to liberal arts, which gave me the skills to copyedit millions of pages of stuff written by people smarter than me but still can’t spell. My girlfriend is so upset by the dolphin business that she hasn’t eaten a mackerel all week.

  3. Scott says:

    Er… I think Paul thinks you’re making fun of people from Asia. Apparently if you have a thing for dolphins, you’re Asian? Oh wait, i think he’s all messed-up confused with the dolphin killing thing in Japan (and NOT China).

    Of course, since this Paul calls us “science types”, he appears to be one of those people who think science is weird and probably bad. And so, ironically, he’s the reason the China may well be ahead of us in 20 years.

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